Talking to Strangers: An Introvert Hits the Streets: Permission

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Permission

Arthur, considering an exit from THE DRAWER

There’s a word for “people who are in their heads too much”: thinkers.

This is Number 1 on "A Manifesto for Introverts," created by Susan Cain, author of Quiet, to whom I am everlastingly grateful. See her website: http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com

Number 4 is also pretty terrific: If the task of the first half of life is to put yourself out there, the task of the second half is to make sense of where you’ve been. If teaching and raising children and finding love over an extended period of trial and error are putting myself out there, then I have. On to sense making.

Number 8 is a healthy prescription: In the long run, staying true to your temperament is the key to finding work you love and work that matters.

Number 11 is pure gift: It’s OK to cross the street to avoid making small talk.

Number 9 explains this blog: Sometimes it helps to be a pretend-extrovert. There’s always time to be quiet later. I haven't been showing up here to pretend much lately. I'm always glad when I do.

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About Me Lately

When I started this blog in 2011, I'd been living in Bellingham, WA, a new town in a new state, for four years. I spent the first two years getting an MFA in fiction, and the second two recovering from this process. By the beginning of year five, I was walking my dog, worrying about my grown children, and writing with little focus. I got some help with the focus thing (if you need a coach, I know a good one), my kids solved their own problems, and I started coming out of myself a little. I went back to teaching for a year at a local community college, where I loved my students, my colleagues not so much. It probably doesn't take most people six years to fully relocate--to a new place, an empty nest, and life after the MFA, when all that's left is to sit down and write--but no one has ever accused me of moving fast. Now that I have placed my rear end in my chair, my introversion, which has always felt like a curse, feels like a blessing. I still need to hit the streets occasionally. This blog is one way to do that.

How to Talk to Strangers

1. Blurt something out. 2. Allow time for shock. 3. If no response, don’t give up. 4. Make a self-deprecating joke. (In my case, there's plenty of material.) 5. If you see a smile, even in the eyes, ask a question. 6. If no response again, walk away. (It looks better if you do something else first, like bend over to tie your shoe.) 7. Don’t be surprised if, when you run into this person a few minutes or a few days later, a conversation ensues, and this time you won't be the one who starts it. 8. Some people won’t have anything to do with you . . . ever.

Readers!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Permission

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