Please enjoy these blogposts, written between 2011 and 2015. Another blog is on the way.

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Killing: My Daughter Says Some Smart Things (Not for the First Time)

Today I posted the following on the facebook page for "The Killing."

I only made it through 15 minutes of the new season last night. I think I'm over stories about the rape and murder of young women. While the detective is hunting down the killer and we're cheering him or her on, more murders of young women and countless more brutal rapes are being committed. Rarely does someone in these stories say, maybe this one guy isn't the real problem. Maybe our culture is sick. Maybe our culture produces sick men. Enough.

Note my pronoun agreement problem in the third sentence. "Him or her" refers to the detective not the killer. Which led to this response:

What the hell are you talking about? Who is cheering the killer? People watch this show because of the twist and turns and the outstanding characters that Enos and Kinnamen portray.

A familiar argument surfaced:

Our culture also produces sick women, but this is just a fictional crime drama not a documentary on all our societal ills.

To which I replied,

Right. It's only fiction. But the stories we tell each other and gravitate toward say everything about us.

Another fan of the series told me I should really give the show another chance, to which I said:

I watched the first season. I think I've got the picture. Linden is a fascinating character. Much good stuff. But the 14-year-old with her head nearly cut off? This I do not need.

Actually I watched the second season as well.

Getting into arguments on Facebook is not usually a productive enterprise.  BUT THEN . . .

my daughter, Mary, who in her spare time answers phones (after many hours of training) for a women's crisis line in Portland, chimed in:


I love you, Mom.

You're making an argument no one really wants to hear.
The bottom line is that popular media perpetuates myths of violence against women, while neglecting to explore the realities. The myths feel better, are more entertaining, and place less blame on the common man/common culture. The realities feel worse: full-bodied shame, guilt, and horror. The truth is also a call to action. The truth requires something from us.

Unfortunately, we're all too busy watching television to think about how to help the neediest people.

Reasons to have children: They educate you. They are more articulate than you are. They tell you they love you on facebook.

P.S. Thanks for the moral support from friends when I posted the same initial message on my homepage of facebook.